Candlemas 2017: Looking for the Hope

Looking for the Hope


Simeon and Anna. The ones who were looking for the redemption of Jerusalem, who recognised that hope in the baby brought to the Temple. Anna was an old woman by then. She had been a widow living in the Temple for a long time, recognised as a prophet. Yet she was still looking for a hope to come. Which is inspiring. Though perhaps still a little too far removed from us for us to really make a connection to it. What might Anna’s story be like if we heard it today?

I remember the war. I grew up during it, really. We were scared, sometimes. There was a lot to worry about. Not knowing if Dad was coming home. Or my brother. Not knowing what was going to happen. Would it end? When? How? It did, of course, but then before long it was all the Commies and the bomb. Were we all going to blow each other up? And it was hard to know what to think. Hard to really believe things would be ok. There’s always been something to worry about, something people think could wreck everything. That’s the easy thing to see. What’s wrong. What should we worry about? I’ve never needed much help with that. They jump out at you, the problems, the worries. It’s the other things that are harder to see, harder to hold on to. The things that say “It doesn’t have to be like that”, the chance that your worst fears might not ever come true. The idea that there’s something out there, something you can’t quite get a good look at, something good. Something better than you could imagine. You never see it full on, just catch a glimpse of it. It’s in the little things. A baby giggling. A coupe in love. That’s what I try to look out for. The hope. It’s there. Only you have to want to see it.

I lost my husband a long time ago. He was a lovely man. I expect I’ve taught myself to say that now, I’ve said it that many times. It was so long ago it seems almost like it was someone else’s life now. Seven years we had. There’s never been anyone else. We were happy, even without children. So long ago I’m the only one who remembers him, I think. It’s a long time on your own. When your friends’ children have children around you, and you feel like someone who’s stepped out of time somewhere and just watched it march on past you. You find your own family in the end, I suppose. Find your own way. It’s what brought me here, to the Cathedral. To be someone looking for that hope. To keep reminding people it’s there. Even when it seems like there’s nothing.

People are worried. You can see it in their faces, hear it in their voices. The way they pause when they’re talking. The tiredness in their eyes. The world seems knocked off balance. Spinning round, with no-one sure where it’s going to stop. Just worried it’ll be in the wrong place. A President talking about torture, and building walls, stoking up fears and lashing out at anyone who challenges him. A Brexit that seems more vague and threatening the longer our leaders avoid saying exactly what it means. The church tearing itself apart over sexuality. People scared about things out of their control that could destroy their lives, their country, their world. Children asking their parents if world war three is going to happen. We never need any help to see the things that scare us. We breathe those in without even noticing. It’s the other things we sometimes need help to see. The hope that can pass us by if we don’t look for it. The hope that’s in the little things. A couple in love. A baby giggling. That’s all it was, that morning. A young couple, bringing their baby to church. Didn’t seem like much. But somehow I knew. That that’s all it takes to change the world. In that baby’s laugh, there was a hope bigger than all the fears I carry.

As we celebrate Candlemas, we recall that the story of God is the story of the world, a story of suffering.   Suffering that God chose to inhabit.

Candlemas in 2017 is not disconnected from that first visit to the temple, it is a continuation of that story of God inhabiting this suffering world.  The challenge this year is how we help one another to see and experience hope.  For this story, this narrative is one that we are all caught up in, it is our world and our lives.  Some of us will be more passive in our search for and expression of hope, others more active and for many of us it will be a combination of the two.  I wonder if being here, being part of this Cathedral, once, occasionally, regularly – is part of your looking for hope?  Maybe it is part of your being reminded that hope is there. Perhaps there are other places and events in which you find hope.   The actor David Tenant, recently ended a TV program being asked to reassure people in his lovely voice that everything would be okay.  Amongst other things he said “we must be positively rebellious and rebelliously positive”.     Part of the vocation of the people of God is to hold out the hope of redemption from within a world of suffering, as Anna and Simeon did in their time. To be rebelliously positive that light overcomes darkness.

Today we begin to turn towards Easter and Lent, and so we also begin to enact the story of a suffering saviour, who took the sin and brokenness of the world with him to the cross, that it might be redeemed.  That we would be shown, that light conquers darkness, hope defeats fear and love overcomes hate. We remember that in the candles that we light today and week in, week out throughout the whole church year. We also commit week by week, in worship, to being sent out into the world, into its suffering, as disciples of Christ, people of hope.

Today we are called again to seek, find and proclaim the hope that Simeon and Anna found in the midst of the suffering world, to sing afresh the songs that declare hope.  The hope the defeats fear and the light that overcomes the darkness.  Amen.

Remembrance Day 2016

In this year, as we remember the 100th anniversary of the Battle of Verdu, Battle of Jutland, the Brusilov Offensive, the introduction of conscription, and the Somme during which the first tanks were used in Battle. We of course, continue to remember the lives laid down in all wars, particularly World Wars One and Two. Those fallen who names are known and those who remain unknown. We remember those who are on active duty today and the freedoms, people and communities they are seeking to protect. We remember those who have suffered life-changing injuries or mental health problems. We are also remembering the family and friends who live with bereavement and with servicemen and women who have been forever changed by the effects of war. We remember that almost everyday, somewhere in our news, people are fighting for causes they believe in.

This year we also find ourselves, in what feels like, new territory. Within our own nation the political landscape is changing as we look towards Brexit and the various constitutional issues that has raised.  Further afield in the United States, we have seen the election of a candidate who seemed most unlikely to the majority of the world. We might say that we now live in uncertain times, with a level of anxiety about the future. Some are even comparing our situation to the context of Europe in the 1930’s, when it seemed that darkness was on the move and it was unclear how to deal with it. In fact, eventually all that could be done was a second World War.

In the gospel of Luke we hear Jesus speaking to those who live in anxious times. We often forget the degree of uncertainty and fear that was part of the daily life of the disciples. They lived under occupation by a foreign power and client kings known for their paranoia and their ruthless cruelty. They lived amidst religious enthusiasm of a kind most of us would find disturbingly un-British. Prophets declaring God’s judgement upon everyone drew huge crowds. Groups of ascetics in the wilderness prayed for the violent overthrow of society around them. Religious terrorists carried out atrocities that were countered by savage reprisals by the Romans. These were people used to living in anxious and uncertain times. And the times were to become even more uncertain.

Within the lifetimes of many of Jesus’ followers a huge revolt would be utterly crushed by the Romans, who would level the Temple, which in Jesus’ day was still being built. It would never be rebuilt. Jesus speaks to these people then: anxious people, people accustomed to seeing things in apocalyptic terms – to see tragedies and suffering as God’s judgement, to read a meaning into the chaos around them that often led them down dark and ever more extreme paths. It was as if the whole population was comprised of tabloid headline writers. Maybe we are not as far away from them as we might think.

Jesus speaks to these anxious people, and what he is trying to say to them is this: don’t read into things. Don’t see the apocalypse behind every fresh tragedy. Don’t give in to despair or hate. God is at work. But not in the way the doom-mongers imagine. There is a bigger picture behind all of this. There is a deeper story behind the stories in your newspapers, and the events that worry you. It’s a story where God leads us from suffering, and war and tragedy to a future of hope, healing and peace for us and for the whole world. Our part in that story is to remember who we are, that we are children of God. And to live lives of perseverance, hope, and trust.

It’s always struck me as appropriate that Remembrance falls when it does – in November, as we start to move towards the beginning of Advent, the season where we remember the entwining of the human story with God’s story. The season where we stand with prophets and others who, in the midst of their own struggles, looked forward to a better future. The promised future of God.

So, in the midst of so much that may make us anxious, we remember the many who have gone before us and stood in the face of suffering and fear and responded with perseverance, and hope, and trust. And we remember that we, like them, are children of God, called to live according to his will, as citizens of a better tomorrow. We must develop the resilience to both remember our painful history and to remain committed to that promised future of healing and peace, not just for us, but for the whole world. We must remember who we are, what we have been through, whose we are and the promised future we journey into and we must not forget.

A sermon for Trinity 17

Luke 6: 1-13

The gospel reading is one of the most confusing yet gripping stories Jesus tells. Confusing, because it’s hard to understand what he’s telling his disciples to do, gripping because it’s an entertaining story that we recognise: There’s a rich man who has a manager run all his finances. Only the manager gets greedy. He fiddles the books, steals the money, lives the high life. Until he gets found out. Until the moment he gets called in to see the boss, and told he’s fired. As he walks back to his office, his life in ruins, wondering what he can do to avoid ending up on the street, he realises that until the boss puts out an official announcement he’s the only one who knows he’s fired. So he picks up the phone and makes a few quick calls. Within half an hour, all the people who owe his boss money have had their debts slashed in half and know they’ve got him to thank for it. When the boss heard what he’d done, how he’d turned personal disaster into a chance for a new future in half an hour, he laughed his head off and offered him his job back. Anyone who could do that was the sort of person he wanted working for him.

We can understand what’s going on in this story very easily. The corrupt manager in his desperation, the ruthless way he turns even the worst situation to his advantage. The way that being under pressure pushes him to switch from extorting extra money from people for himself to giving away his master’s money to help the very people he’d been cheating. Even the way that the master, hearing about how his far-too-crafty manager managed to wiggle his way out of any punishment he’d tried to give him, changes his mind and congratulates him instead. It’s a funny story. I expect it got a bit of a laugh from the people who heard it.

But what are we supposed to make of Jesus saying now you all go and do the same thing as the dishonest manager: make friends for yourself with corrupt money, so that when it runs out you’ll be welcomed by them into heavenly homes?

I think the thing we need to bear in mind with this parable is that Jesus isn’t saying the manager is a good man. He’s very clear this is a bad man who finds himself in a tight spot, and the only way out is to do something he’d never normally consider doing. And that’s the point. This is a story about someone changing the way they do things. This is someone who has never tried to help people in their life. In fact, he’s gone out of his way to help himself at the expense of everyone else. But when that stops working, he’s got no choice but to help as many people as he can, as quickly as he can. The bad man has to act like a good man, because in the end it’s the only thing that will save his skin. When the chips are down, the dishonest manager realises something: all the scheming and cheating and swindling he’s done all these years have ended up getting him nowhere. He’s going to end up with nothing: with a choice between trying to get work as an unskilled labourer after years of sitting behind a desk or begging on the street. He has to change. When Jesus tells us to imitate him, this is what he’s asking us to imitate: someone who is changing the way they live completely.


I want to say three things about the sort of change we see in the parable. Three things that I think will help us understand what Jesus is asking us to do.


First, the parable is about change that happens in a place of vulnerability and opportunity. The parable is all about what happens when the manager is in a particular sort of place: a place where extreme vulnerability and extreme opportunity meet. This is a man with nothing, who has lost everything he has worked for, who is seriously seeing begging as one of the options he is weighing up. He is incredibly vulnerable, probably more vulnerable than he has even been before. But this is also a man presented with a moment of opportunity: the window he has between being told he’s fired and an announcement being made. To be clear: he has always been able to do the things he now does, but until he was in this place of vulnerability it never occurred to him what an opportunity he had. In this place, he has all the power he once wielded as the rich man’s manager, but he now has nothing to lose.

Jesus wants to talk about what happens to people in that place of vulnerability and opportunity because it’s the place we’re all called to be. It’s the place where we realise our need of God. The place where we realise we’re not coping. We haven’t got all our ducks in a row. We’re at the limit of our resources and we need to do more.

Realising how much we need God is something that I think most of us struggle with. It’s not very comfortable. It means being vulnerable: admitting that we are not sufficient in ourselves. But I’ve always found that that vulnerability brings with it an opportunity: the opportunity for God to work in and through us to bring change. My own experience of vulnerability [give example] is that I can be more fully who I am and do what I am called to do when I feel I am utterly dependent on God. This has come round many times in my ministry. I’m sure many clergy would say the same.

Second, the parable is about change expressed in repentance. Repentance is about change not just for change’s sake, but change that aims to actively reject the way we did things in the past. To repent means to turn away from past mistakes. Clearly, this is not a story about traditional repentance: the dishonest manager doesn’t have a change of hear, he doesn’t stop being dishonest. But he has to act in a way that is opposed to all he has previously done. The dishonest manager is put in a position where he realises what his mistakes have cost him. He is made vulnerable, but with the opportunity not simply to lament his vulnerability, but to take action: to do things differently.

Repentance is something we do every Sunday. Every day that we say ‘forgive us our trespasses’. It’s second nature almost. But there’s a world of difference between saying the words and actually changing. The dishonest manager never gets to saying he’s sorry. But what he does demonstrates the repentance he doesn’t speak: he transforms the way he acts. I wonder if we sometimes do it the other way around? Do we say we’re sorry but never actually change? Do we just go through the motions? I wonder what it would mean if we were less concerned with looking sorry than we were about actually making the changes we need to reverse the harm we’ve caused? Would we be a better church if we acted more like Christians even if we seemed to speak less like them?

Thirdly, the parable is about change expressed in showing mercy to the needy. The parable goes into some detail about the state of the debtors. They owe a lot. Some owe more than they might be expected to pay back. Perhaps it was the dishonest manager himself who had piled their debts ever higher and higher, extorting more money out of the already vulnerable to line his own pockets. Perhaps not, but whether it was through his greed or his master’s harsh terms, these people were in great need, carrying debts that would take years to repay, or might lead to them and their families being sold into slavery in payment. And in this place of vulnerability and opportunity, the dishonest manager does the thing he’s been avoiding doing all this time: he shows mercy. He writes off debts instead of piling them on. He uses the skills and influence he’s got to make friends rather than enemies. I wonder how you’ve been treating the needy people around you? Are there people who over the years you have treated as a means to an end? People you’ve valued more for what they can do for you than for themselves? Who are the people you have sought to better yourself through? And what would it mean to try to make them better instead?

That’s the sort of change Jesus is trying to get us to imitate: change that comes from a place of vulnerability and opportunity, change that expresses itself in repentance and mercy to the needy. We might think it’s too late to try and change now. The dishonest manager has left it to the last minute to even try and change. But that’s all that’s needed. A few moments of showing mercy more than make up for a lifetime spent cheating people. The dishonest manager becomes a symbol of grace in action: the forgiveness of debts that turns enemies into friends. One moment of that grace outweighs a lifetime of sin.

So don’t think it’s too late. Not for you, or for others. And don’t think it’s too hard. Because in the end, what Jesus wants more than anything is for us to recognise our need of God. If we don’t do that we won’t be able recognise the needs of others.

A sermon for Trinity 15 2016.

Have you heard the phrase ‘loving someone or something to death’? Or ‘I can’t live without you or it’? The idea that something (a partner, a child, a house, a car, a job) is so important to us that we’d die without it. It’s extreme language. Because our families, our possessions, our roles in life, however important they are to us, are not really so vital that we’d die without them. They’re not like food, or drink, or oxygen. Or are they? Someone who suffers a great loss may still be here, but you might say ‘something in them died’. ‘It’d kill him if he lost that job’ we might say, not because he’d have a heart attack if he got fired, but because having the job makes him who he is. Loving things to death. The language is extreme, but that’s because it’s describing something extreme. You can love something to death – love it so much that you’d die without it.

Jesus uses some similarly extreme language in our reading today:

‘Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple.’

We’ve talked about loving to death. This is the opposite: hating something to life. This is the Jesus who talks about following him as the way to life, who now seems to be saying that the only way to that life is by hating things. Hating things so much that you’ll live without them. Jesus has a track record for saying things like this – he talks about cutting your hand off so you don’t sin – things that he obviously doesn’t mean literally, extreme language to make us wake up and pay attention. Just like with ‘loving things to death’ on one level it’s clearly not true. We can’t find the way to life by hating our families, hating our spouses and children, hating ourselves. But is there a truth hidden in there like there is in loving things to death? Maybe we can understand what he’s getting at by thinking more about these two ideas: loving things to death and hating them to life.

I think sometimes I’m in danger of loving my family to death. And there’s a huge problem with that. When we love something or someone so much that we couldn’t exist without it – we stop actually loving it. We need to possess it for our survival. That’s not love. That’s ownership. And where it leads is death. Loving to death is actually a form of hate.


Now let’s think about what the opposite of that looks like – hating to life, in Jesus’ words. The radical challenge in this passage is that Jesus is clear that there can be no compromise in how we love and follow him.  Perhaps we could think of this hate slightly differently – Rowan Williams in his book ‘Being Disciples’ says “Love God less and you love everyone and everything less.”

So perhaps this challenge from Jesus is less about hate and more about love.  Maybe this hating that Jesus is teaching his disciples about is about trusting God for everything, allowing the wonderful gifts we have in our friends and family to be completely free, so that we love God enough to learn about love and life in all it’s fullness – in eternity, through death, resurrection and redemption.  Letting go of our own lives and of those we love most deeply, this hating that Jesus speaks of, paradoxically, brings life for us and for them.

Following Jesus, being a disciple is about making a choice, a choice with real costs and consequences. Perhaps, we could say, a choice between loving things to death and hating them to life.  Or if we were to take the language Rowan Williams uses- it’s a choice regarding how we love God and in turn therefore, how we love full stop.

We find Jesus’ words here difficult ‘hate your family, hate your life’ not just because ‘hate’ seems too harsh, too negative, but also because we all like to think that making the choice to follow Jesus shouldn’t have a real cost on our families or our lives. We don’t really want to think about the alternative: that those who follow Jesus are not always going to be making decisions based on “what’s best for me,” or even “what’s best for our marriage/ family/ children.” It may mean living more simply because our resources can be used better for others. It may mean making unpopular choices despite the protests of our family. Jesus asks us to count those costs carefully.   We need to, because otherwise we will domesticate the gospel. We will let the message of God’s love and care for all humanity become the story of how much Jesus loves us and our families.  We will love ourselves and our nearest and dearest – to death.

Jesus is talking in extremes to get us to pay attention. The danger is that we feel like it’s an exaggeration so we ignore it. But we can’t afford to do that. No, Jesus doesn’t want us to hate anyone, and certainly doesn’t want us to hate our families or our own lives. But he wants us to wake up to the fact that the way we love people isn’t the way he loves.  The love of God is not a possessing love; it’s a gifting love. It’s a love not bent on ownership, but one that gives, even in the face of death. Hence the gift of life in the face of death – resurrection.

To know and have this kind of love is a choice, a choice to be more like the only person who can offer us it.  A choice to be a disciple.  A choice to be made with our eyes open. A choice we need to make and remake every day, aware of the cost.

“Love God less and you love everyone and everything less.”


Trinity 12 RCL Year B: Jesus and Junk Food.

This is not an exact word for word sermon as I rarely preach them in that way and it was a little long and could be more concise but it was timely and right today.

Children’s Message: I have got 2 lunchboxes. Who would like to come and help me investigate what is in them?

One is a ‘Junk’ lunchbox. Biscuits, Crisps, fruit shoot, coke, chocolate and sweets.  This stuff is stuff we really like, yes? Who would like to have this one? What would happen if we ate lunches like this all of the time?   What other stuff is there that we like in our lives, that makes us feel comfortable and is easy but might not really be all that good for us? What is there in our church life that makes us feel comfortable and safe, reassures us, but might not be all that good for us?

One is a ‘Healthy lunchbox’.  Fruit and water. This is stuff that can feel a lot harder to eat. What would happen if we ate the stuff in this lunchbox all of the time? What things are there in our faith that we need more of? What things in our lives help us to be fitter and ready to be the best people we can be? The same of a follower of Jesus…?

Children’s Task. A picture of 2 lunch boxes. If you are under 7 I want 2 foody lunchboxes. If you are over 7 I want 2 lunchboxes of things that help us follow Jesus and things that don’t. At the end of the service we’ll share them with the congregation!


Carrying on:

In todays readings Jesus compares 2 types of food. He talks about the food that Moses, our ancestor, fed the people in the Passover, the bread that they had learnt to eat when they were slaves in Egypt and he compares that to the food that Jesus feeds us that is his own body.   It sounded a bit gruesome but he was getting them ready for when we he was going to die and they would have food a bit like we do at a communion meal, to remember him. He wanted them to be realistic and understand the reality of being a follower of Jesus, a disciple or as we might say today a ‘Christian’.

When Jesus compared these 2 foods, his followers were really offended- how could he say that this old food, this bread that they had been using to celebrate God’s goodness, God saving them from being slaves in Eygpt? How could he say that was Junk?!?! Jesus did though and some people said ‘We can’t take this! How can this bread be more powerful or meaningful? We can’t change! We don’t believe this gruesome stuff! What is he going on about?’ .

They left him and stopped following him.   Some of the disciples stayed though and when Jesus asked them ‘Do you also want to leave?’ Peter said ‘Where would we go?! You, Jesus, you are the one we need, you have the things that will feed us, the words of eternal life’.

Sometimes it is easier to eat Junk food but Jesus calls us not to. He calls us to health, fitness and readiness to be like him. To do God’s work.

So I want to be a bit more explicit with you about what Junk food is.

You’ve heard me explain that Jesus was challenging his followers about their traditions, their practices and their believes.

He was saying some of the stuff they depended on was Junk. Junk is still food and you can survive on it. In fact you might feel better for eating it when you are hungry. It is the long term effect of this junk that is the problem. You are not going to be fit and healthy if you eat too much junk food.

I wonder what makes you feel comfortable about church? What are the thinks you like and appreciate about church…. the things that worry you if they are missing or if they are not there?

Some examples of churchy junk might be: It has to be quiet for me receive.   Children should be seen and not heard. I have to know all the hymns.   I have to sit in the same place. I have to know everybody. Things that are good for us but might make it extremely hard for others.

Talk to someone who sits near you for a few moments about what makes you comfortable in church, what your comfort food might be? Remember comfort food feeds us and it might taste nice.


I wonder how much of that, that you were just talking about was junk food? I wonder which things we are just eating too much of? So what makes something good food for us?   Good food is not so immediately attractive. It is probably not packaged as flashily. It may not taste so nice straight away- we may have to get used to it a little.   However, if we want to live long, healthy and fit lives then this good food is what we need to eat. When we think about our faith life though it is important to remember that Jesus doesn’t just want us to survive, he wants us to live and flourish. When he challenges his disciples in this gospel passage today he is trying to broaden their vision. It is a bit like this: their vision is that they might manage to walk a mile, whilst his visions is that they’re marathon runners. I think the reading from Ephesians also helps us. The armour of God is not protection.   It’s hard when we have a military example and often this passage is preached in that way but today I want to suggest something slightly different.

To be fireman you need heat protective clothing, boots, a helmet and so on but you shouldn’t think that because you are wearing that protective clothing you are not going to get hot and often firemen bear the scars of their work on their skin. In the same way when Paul, in Ephesians talks about us putting on the armour of God he is not saying ‘this is the stuff that keeps you safe and your never going to get hurt or feel uncomfortable’ what he is saying is ‘ you are going to be a soldier, you are going to go out there and do the job of a soldier, so you need to dress the part’.   It is more like an essential need, like food, but in this passage is being described as clothing.   In order to be who we are called by Jesus to be we need: (look at the things listed in that list from Ephesians during communion maybe) This is our health food. Everything else is junk, it’s nice, it can help but too much of it will make us lazy, fat and poorly.

The image of God’s armour brings in a new dimension though: This is not just about our well being. Yes, God does want us to run the marathon but ultimately God’s plan is that the whole world will be saved and he needs us to play our part in it.

We don’t just eat healthily because it is good for us we eat healthily because that gives us the energy and fitness to help others.

Church is not a diet club for the fat, unfit and unhealthy it is basic training. The food here will not always be nice but it will be good for you, it will change and transform your bodies, minds and souls. It will prepare you to go the distance for God, beyond what you felt you could ever do.

So good food… What do you think good food really is? The Eucharist. The Bible. That list from Ephesians. I want also to give you some examples of how we might experience a church that is fit, healthy and ready to God’s work in the world:

  1. A church that is ready on EVERY Sunday to engage with everyone- no matter how often they come, no matter why they come, no matter how old they are.
  2. A Church that recognizes every member ministry- that does not rely on the vicar but works with the vicar to reach people beyond the congregation.
  3. A church that is not just about what happens on a Sunday or a Thursday morning but rather a church where praying, studying and serving out in the community beyond the walls of the building is flourishing.

Did you know that people can tell how fit you are by looking at you. They can tell how healthy you are by what you say, by your attitudes.  I hear so often: “they aren’t very Christian those Christians…!”

Jesus could tell this of his disciples by the questions they asked and the objections they raised and so he challenged them. Forget the Junk, he says. Follow me, I have power in my flesh and blood beyond your dreams. I say again to you his disciples on earth, in Harworth today. Forget the Junk. Jesus has everything you need and in him you can do far more than if you rely on the easy and comfortable things. I make no apology if this offends you as it did those first disciples.   Life with God is about transformation.   Through faith, belief and trust we become fitter, we are equipped with the right gifts, armour, physique to help God save others.   Without this transformation Church becomes something less important, something we can easily walk away from, it becomes a club, a hobby.

When we prefer our Junk food to the goodness Jesus offers us, well, to be honest we don’t look all that attractive or good. We’re easy to walk away from.   When we believe that the things Jesus offers, when we trust that the good stuff (even when it seems unpalatable!) when we are able to feast on that stuff, well, we have power to be a church beyond our wildest dreams. When we are a church whose faith, trust and walk with Jesus is the most visible thing about us, when we are transformed into his flesh and blood by feasting on that good stuff- will it be so easy for anyone to walk away? Would we not have queues of people wanting that transformation too?

So what do you want to eat? The bread of our ancestors, the comfort foods that have become habit, practice, the food that has become easy or do you want the flesh and blood of God, the harder diet, the one that requires some will power and some hard work. Do you want transformation? Do you want Jesus?

So just as Jesus asked his disciples, I ask you know, as his voice, his representative amongst you: Do you also wish to go away?


Let us pray.

Lord, where else would we go? You have everything we need.  Help us to take our comfort foods and our junk in moderation and help us to feast on the goodness you offer even when we find it difficult and unpalatable. Make us fit enough to do your work, transform us into your flesh and blood here on earth. In your precious name we pray.  Amen.

The Dirty Word: Sin and Soil

A Sermon for Wooddale Lutheran Church, St Louis Park, Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA. July 13th 2014.


Intro: ‘A dirty word’

‘It’s a dirty word’. I don’t know if that’s a bit of an English phrase, or whether it’s a something you’d say here too, but in Britain we’d say swearwords are ‘dirty words’. And by extension, any word people may not want to use for any reason could be a ‘dirty word’. So in business ‘bribe’ is a dirty word. But people have no problem talking about ‘gifts’ or ‘hospitality’. In some church circles ‘evangelism’ is a dirty word, or ‘money’.

But often in church the word we really don’t like using is ‘sin’. It sounds a bit oppressive or a bit prudish, especially when it’s used the way it has been by the church in the past. We might have felt that the sort of people who go on and on about sin are the sort of people who stand on street corners shouting at people to repent. They’re the sort of Christians we don’t want to be. We’re probably all aware of people who seem very comfortable talking about sin because they’re always very sure it’s something everyone else is guilty of.

When ‘sin’ becomes a weapon to hit other people over the head with, we quite rightly don’t want to have anything to do with it. And maybe for some of us, it’s something we’ve been hit over the head with ourselves. And ‘sin’ becomes a dirty word.


Romans: Sin – the dirty word

So, what does Paul want to say about this dirty word in chapter 8 of his letter to the Romans?

Well, Paul has just been talking to his readers about how life can be a constant struggle with sin. You want to do the right thing, but you find yourself doing the wrong thing again. We’re stuck in the mud, he seems to say, and not even the best of us are able to pull ourselves out. The dirt runs too deep. But in this chapter, he says, all is not lost. God has dealt with it through Jesus. There is no condemnation now. We can be free from the flesh, free from the control of sin. And God will make it happen. There’s a choice, he seems to say, between having your mind fixed on the flesh and having your mind fixed on the spirit.

If it’s fixed on the spirit, then you will have life and peace, but if it isn’t, then you will get death, because if you’re in the flesh then you can’t please God. (But don’t worry, he seems to say, you’re all in the spirit, because if you weren’t you wouldn’t be in the church.)

Paul is never the easiest writer in the Bible to understand. And lots of people have disagreed about what he means here. I’m not going to try and venture into that minefield. I want to stick with the problem of the dirty word, because for many of us that’s the key one. The problem is that what he’s saying gets drowned out by what we’re hearing.

Whether Paul meant it or not, when he starts talking about ‘sin’ and ‘flesh’ together (because we’ve all got bodies), it starts to sound a bit like this to us: ‘you’re all dirty, and there’s nothing you can do about it’. And although he’s trying to say that God saves us from all that, it can seem like that means God is saving us from being us: people of flesh and blood who live on a ball of dirt and will die one day. The problem is, over the years the Church has a bit of a track record of telling people that it’s wrong to be physically who we are. (** in my visit uk is a bit behind the USA)

Because we’re not able-bodied enough, or not male enough, or not white enough, or not enough of whatever it is that you feel people expect you to be.

We get to feel that we’re dirty. And that we’ll always be dirty. And that that’s never going to change as long as we are who we are. That’s a terrible thing to live with, because it leaves you with no hope. And it means that you can’t hear the words Paul is saying: ‘There is now no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus’.

This is the problem of the dirty word. When the way we have taken these words and twisted them abused people with them means that all people hear is ‘sin’, ‘flesh’, ‘death’. All they think is ‘God doesn’t like me very much, and I’ll only be ok once I’m dead and I’m not dirty anymore’. It’s not what Paul is trying to say, but it’s what we hear.

When Paul talks about how those who are in the flesh cannot please God, we can very easily get the idea that God needs us to leave ourselves behind to be with him. God doesn’t like us as we are, he needs us to be someone else. Someone less dirty.


Matthew: Soil – the word gets dirty

There’s another sort of dirty word in our readings today, though. There’s the word of God that loves to get dirty, that gets scattered liberally across the soil by an enthusiastic sower. If the letter to the Romans might seem to be telling us all about the dirt that we’re constantly struggling to get free from, the parable of the sower seems to turn it around. The dirt isn’t what you spend your life desperately, hopelessly, trying to scrub off. The dirt is where God grows something new.

I think many of us desperately need a new way of thinking about how God is saving us. What if we used the image of God the sower as our main way of thinking about God and what he is trying to do in the world? God is a farmer, sowing seed. He isn’t trying to pull us out and clean us off, he’s trying to plant something in us. He’s not a hygiene-obsessed food scientist, aiming to sterilise everything, but a farmer who happily gets his hands dirty because the dirt is where things grow. And his vision is a lot broader than we might think.

The problem with our image of ourselves as dirty sinners and God as the one cleaning us off is that we think that until we’re clean we’re useless.

A farmer who worked like that would carefully prepare a plot of land to plant in, pull out all the weeds, dig out the stones, shoot the birds. Then and only then would they plant the seeds carefully one by one in the good soil. They’re not a sower. They’re a gardener with a vegetable patch. God is not like that, Jesus says. The sower scatters seed everywhere. There’s nothing half-hearted about the way he acts. He doesn’t write off any soil as useless ahead of time. He certainly doesn’t avoid scattering seed in places that look less than ideal.

That’s how God looks at us. Not as people who need to be pulled out of where they are and cleaned off and changed into someone different before he can accept them. But as people who could be fertile ground for something good to grow. No matter how unpromising we might look to others. He values us.

Before I conclude I want to leave you a few questions that arose in my mind as I thought about your context here at Wooddale. I suggest you take one of these questions and think about it a little in the coming days.

Where is your collective or corporate mind fixed? In the Flesh or the Spirit, the Soil or the Sower, Romans 7 or Romans 8.

In this context now, in grieving for a long serving, much loved pastor, travelling through the unknown with someone new, with Pastor Mark, and in the anticipation of a new chapter in the life of Wooddale, where is God in all this?

Where is God, the sower, the good and generous farmer, sowing seeds that you struggle to see as gifts?

What is the growth that God has started and sown within you that you can nurture and celebrate?



‘There is therefore no condemnation now for those who are in Christ Jesus.’ That’s what Paul is trying to say, that we sometimes don’t really hear. That’s what Jesus is saying in the parable of the sower. The dirt isn’t what you have to wash off before you’re worth anything. It’s what stuff grows in. Amen.


Women’ World Day of Prayer 2014: Streams in the Desert

2014 artwork from WWDP
A day in the life of a woman in north Nottinghamshire. I wonder how many times you see, hear or touch water? My guess is that for many of us we do not often go an hour without encountering it in some way. In recent years we have begun facing issues of an over abundance of water with excessive rain, floods and dangerously high tides. So today's theme and bible passages as a source of inspiration for us may seem a little removed from our reality. We are, of course, intended to approach the theme metaphorically seeing water, or the qualities of water in and through a broader lens. However our reality, our context affects the way that we understand such biblical themes. This is why it is such a wonderful opportunity to be renewed and inspired in our understanding by women in a very different context to our own. So today I am thankful for the women of Egypt for providing that context for us.


Water is essential to the flourishing of life and without water life could not continue. It is extremely important. The women in Egypt know this well because they live with the reality of the desert. The context of water in Egypt is far closer to the context of water in today's bible passages from Isaiah and John. In these passages we have to remember that water is not found as simply as turning on a tap. It requires a journey to a well or a spring, it requires someone carrying it back to their home. If like me, any of you have been camping, or participated in another activity that required the fetching of a large amount of water, you will know that carrying water is not easy. So water is precious and it requires labour to get it. Therefore the reality in these kinds of contexts is to use very water sparingly and not to waste it.


In our reading from Isaiah the image of water breaking forth in the desert is used. Understanding the context I have just outlined helps us to see what this really means. We are accustomed to the idea that we can plant plants in places other than those they naturally grow in, we can build houses far from natural water but this was not the world that Isaiah lived in. He is speaking of an act of God to make the impossible happen. Something that for him would take unimaginable human effort to achieve. To bring life to places where it could not normally be sustained. Of course Isaiah isn't really talking about plants and deserts, he is using the image to talk about people and communities. Places where real flourishing life has become all but impossible. Places where the options are reduced to the bear minimum of survival. I'm sure we can all think of places like that. Maybe you know people who come from situations like that. Isaiah's vision is of God making streams burst out in those dry dusty places. Bringing healing, hope, beauty into communities and situations in which it has seemed impossible. It's a lovely image and it becomes bound up in what water symbolises in the bible.


I'm sure the story of the woman at the well is a familiar one for most of you but perhaps we don't often approach it with an awareness of the significance of water. This is a woman doing the job of getting water to bring back to her household. The water that they need and when she is there, she meets the stranger who asks for some water to drink. Perhaps hearing an accent or noticing something about the way he is dressed the woman realises that the stranger is a Jew (who usually refuse to share cups and bowls with Samaritans like herself). Perhaps curious about this strangely open-minded Jew she asks him why he is willing to accept water from her. And so, her journey to fetch water for her family becomes a journey to get some of that water that Isaiah had spoken of.

Jesus's response is to say that if she knew who he was, she would ask him for a drink. A drink of life giving water. The kind of water that transforms people into bearers of healing, hope and beauty. Truly flourishing humanity. Whether deliberately or because she's just focused on getting water for her family, the woman seems not to hear Jesus's deeper message in his words. Instead Jesus's response gets her defences up. She's the one who has just given him a drink, who does he think he is saying he can give her one. Is he just another one of these jews looking down on Samaritans? So she reminds him that this is Jacobs well and that she just like him is a descendent of Jacob. You don't claim to be greater than Jacob do you? She asks, perhaps a little sarcastically. But Jesus won't be put off by her defensiveness and repeats his offer again. In fact he says the life giving water he offers will give eternal life. Through the next part of their interaction comes a series of facts about the woman's life. Now the woman, and I think it's fair to say the reader, often interpret these facts through a set of expectations about what is right and wrong which lead them to view these facts, stated by Jesus as a negative judgement. This is not true. It is not in the text. Both Isaiah and Jesus speak of thirst quenching water despite societal expectations and norms. Water breaks forth in the unexpected places, the driest, most broken and desolate. It brings flourishing, whole ness and so on. It's not there to pass judgement on what was there before it came. When Jesus speaks to the woman about the reality of her life he is not offering her judgement he is showing her that she deserves to be seen and valued for who she is irrespective of her history. He is offering her the opportunity to flourish and sees her history as not invisible but irrelevant. It takes the woman a while to really believe this though and her reaction initially is to throw the biggest religious objection she can think of at him. That Samaritans and Jews have a fundamental disagreement about where to worship God but Jesus will not be so easily put off. The woman puts up barriers, she builds obstacles, perhaps the image of a dam is helpful here. She simply cannot seem to be open to the acceptance Jesus is offering her until he says who he is.

When he does say who he is she is so taken by what he is offering that she leaves her water jar behind and goes back into town to tell everyone what she has found. The water that Isaiah prophecies about breaks all expectations but the water that Jesus offers takes it a step further and is offered as an eternal gift, breaking even the desolation of death. These waters bring joy, healing, hope, beauty and so on. The woman at the well teaches us that a response to receiving this water is not only to receive healing, beauty, joy and hope but to receive the desire to bring forth water in the deserts of all those with whom we are associated. Our families, friends and communities. The women of Egypt, in preparing this service, have felt so passionate about the effect of God's living waters in their nation that they have shared with us, in the hope that such waters will spring forth in communities across the world.



Where are the deserts in our lives in our communities? Where do expectations prevent people from receiving acceptance? When are the times we seek water? When are we thirsty for the things and relationships that will make us flourish? What are the wells? What are the sources and resources that we need to flourish?


How can we as women (and men) in our context be the bearers of water to others? When we find what we need to flourish, when we have been nurtured through the ministry of word, fellowship and prayer, are we impassioned enough to run from our wells to share the living water with others?


Today we gather at a kind of well, we are nurtured by ancient prophecy through the words of Isaiah, we are ministered to through through the interaction of the Samaritan woman with Jesus and we have the blessing and inspiration of the women of Egypt telling again the story of gods living water in their own context. As we leave this place today may we see 'streams in our deserts' and may we so inspire others to do the same.


Let us pray:

Thank you Father, for water, for women and for Egypt. Continually bless your world with water in unexpected places, streams in the deserts of nations and peoples. We pray that we might be bearers of living water here in Retford, in our homes, families, churches and communities.

Through the one who can offer us the living, eternal water of life, Jesus our friend and saviour, Amen.


Love beyond Limits (RCL 2 before lent)

Though I type out a rough text I never preach from it entirely. I always used to, rigidly! I recently found that my preaching is more effective when I relax, trust my experience and knowledge and vocation. I find this allows me to respond to the service, the people and of course the spirit as I speak and lead in my church. This last Sunday was an occasion where despite being unhappy with my sermon, the general gist felt right, and to my surprise, the congregation responded both in worship and after. The Spirit moved. God is very, very good.
There was was something that made me almost tearful hearing them sing the following during the distribution of the sacrament. :
'Here I am lord, is it I Lord?
I have heard you calling in the night.
I will go Lord, if you lead me.
I will hold your people in my heart'

Basis for Sermon

What do we do for our community? I want you to rule out everything that I do – Baptisms, Weddings, Funerals and the other stuff. What do we do for our community- not for each other, not for our church but for our community?

I have had a week away and had some quality space and this has been a question that has somewhat plagued me. Whilst I see so many blessings in our church family and in our church community, and I see genuine willingness to work on being a better church family, and whilst I have an awareness of individuals involved in the wider community (not all explicitly as ambassadors for the church) the question of our role in the wider community has made me feel rather uncomfortable. As usually happens when I feel like this, the week’s gospel reading speaks into what I have found and it brings a challenge to us all.

In this week’s gospel reading it is made clear that God comes to the whole of his creation, good and evil, righteous and unrighteous and yes, even on our enemies. We are not the keepers of the treasure, we are not the guardians of the holy grail. So God’s voice, presence and will are not to be found soley in the body of the church but in the whole of his creation. This is, I hope, no surprise to you all, and you all live out there in the community don’t you? Do you see and hear God’s presence out there too? Too often, I think, in history, Christians have taken the call to be perfect as one which excluded others and which gave the church a privilege and position above all creation in a hierarchical kind of way. I have done it. You will have done it too. We have done it. Here’s the challenge. In this reading we hear the word perfect. In the Greek text the word 'perfect' is probably better translated 'to the end'. In the context of this reading, where Jesus is encouraging his disciples to have a broader perspective and to love those they find it difficult to love, what this really means is 'beyond any limits'. 'Don't have any limits to your love, just as your father has no limits to his love'.

The gospel reading today is a call to love of the ‘other’. To turn the other cheek, go the extra mile. To do all the things we need to do in order to show God’s presence and love in creation. It is a call too to learn from the ‘other’, to see in them God, his love and the kind of actions that speak of the Christian life that we are seeking to model. That will bring us closer to wholeness, to perfection, to the end.

Bishop Paul Butler was installed into his seat in Durham Cathedral just a few short days ago, a few days before that he was one of 26 Bishops who signed a document condemning government policy that directly leads to food poverty, to hunger amongst people in our country, as part of the launch of a new organisation called EndhungerFAST (you will be hearing more about this in the coming weeks). At his installation Bishop Paul said ‘The Church will only grow when we engage with communities’ and when we do not try to be a ‘holy club’.’

We need to go the extra mile. We need to get out there and do what needs to be done. We need to listen to our community. We need to act. We need to give what we’ve got. Time, resources, energy, prayers, love and support. We will grow stronger in our faith and our church will grow financially, numerically, emotionally and spiritually.

I’m going to say this even more radically. I know you have Jesus as your foundation, basis, the starting point. I know you do. Some of you might feel a bit wobbly about it now and then, you might want some help, reading, prayer, or some teaching in specific areas to help you. You have the Starter. Jesus. He lives here. But he lives there too. And many of those people, they don’t know it. AND THEY NEED YOU. I see such great needs in my day to day encounters and tasks. We have an opportunity here to be a really special church. A really special church. We have all the ingredients together. We can be different, we can overturn expectations from the diocese, the sceptics in our community. I also want to say to you- I can’t do this for you. It needs to be something we all do together. I’m no magician or miracle worker. So we need to get thinking. Please. Ask yourself what can I do to get out there and engage in my community?

I can say already that we need to form a team to visit residential care homes without me, we need people who can take home communion, we need people to volunteer to help run a cinema at the town hall 6 times a year, we need to have a prayer group of some sort, we need to organise visitors for new housing areas… and that’s just off the top of my head non-creative stuff.

We will be thinking about this area throughout Lent- how do we serve in our context, how do we serve as a church family those who are outside, those others, the ones that do not come to church,

Please talk to me too, ask to see me, share your ideas…..

Once upon a time there were some travelers who came to a village with nothing but a cooking pot. They found a place to camp near some water, filled up their pot, and put it over a fire. Then they took a large stone and put it in the pot as it simmered.

A villager saw this and asked what they were cooking. They explained that they were making a soup called stone soup that they would love to share with the village. They just needed a few small things to make it taste even better. The villager decided that he could offer a few carrots and adds them to the pot. Another villager sees them and gives some potatoes, and so on until there is a wonderful, tastey soup to be enjoyed by all.

In the story, the villagers were sort of tricked into contributing, but they did contribute on their own accord because they believed that the end result would be something great. And it was. But it would not have been if they decided to keep their doors locked and never spoke to the strangers amongst them. The story also needed travellers to take risks. The other thing is the stone itself. Seemingly irrelevant. Adds little that is visible and is really only known about because the travellers talk about it. Let's say the stone is Jesus, seemingly irrelevant, known about because we talk about him and seems to add little that is obvious. The reality is that the stone, or the base of the soup, or Jesus, is just that the foundation that creates an opportunity for engagement, for conversation, for cooking. And unlike the stone, Jesus does more than start the possibility of the friendship, the action, but he sticks around, makes his home in us forever and changes us, makes us more capable of love beyond limits, beyond people like us, to others – and the effect of that- unimaginable. So long as we do not guard it like the holy grail, in a holy club!

If being part of this church and coming to this building means that we have Jesus as our foundation, and if we are confident of his love and promises for us, then our hearts are changed, they become places where God lives, if we then take that out into our community and we set up our soup pots and get involved, our actions of love for one another will make the soup what it is: a meal that people want to gather around and be part of. Love beyond limits: what are we doing for our community?


Thomas: Faithful doubt

John 20: 19-31

We often talk about ‘Doubting Thomas’, and doubt is often what Thomas is best known for. We see him as somehow inferior to the other disciples, someone rebuked by Jesus for his lack of faith. Today, however, I want you to put that picture of Doubting Thomas to one side. Today, I want to think about Faithful Thomas. This is not really a story about Thomas’s doubt, it’s a story about Thomas’s faith.
Let’s remind ourselves, to start with, that there was nothing exceptional about Thomas’s doubt. Normally when people die they stay dead. So Thomas’s doubt that Jesus rose from the dead is no great mystery. It’s little more than common sense. Let’s not forget that the other disciples had great difficulty accepting what they were told by the women who were the first witnesses to the resurrection. They doubted. There is little difference between Thomas’ doubt and that expressed by the other disciples before him. If Jesus hadn’t appeared to them that evening, they would be in exactly the same position as Thomas. Thomas is not different from the other disciples because he doubted. They all doubted, until Jesus appeared to them. Thomas is different from the other disciples because he had faith.
We know very little about Thomas beyond this story. The gospels don’t tell us when and how he came to follow Jesus. But John does tell one other important story about him. When Jesus heard Lazarus had died in Bethany he wanted to go there. But the disciples tried to persuade him not to go, reminding him that the crowd had been turned against him the last time he was there, that the authorities were trying to have him killed. Faced with the possibility that Jesus might die, the disciples doubted. All except one. Thomas, seeing that Jesus was determined to go even if he was killed, said “Let us go also, that we may die with him”. It’s a statement of faith in the face of death, and it sets Thomas apart from the other disciples. When Jesus tries to tell Peter that he will suffer and die, Peter tries to persuade him that he won’t. When he says it to Thomas, Thomas says he’ll die with him. When John chooses to mention Thomas it’s not because of his doubt, but because of his faith.
We shouldn’t think then, that John draws attention to Thomas at the resurrection because of his doubt. This is the most faithful of disciples. Not the most uncertain, or the most skeptical, but the most faithful. But he isn’t there when Jesus appears. So when the others talk to him about seeing Jesus, we shouldn’t hear his words as those of a sceptic. This is a man of faith, and if he sounds a little like a militant sceptic, perhaps it’s because he’s struggling against his own need to believe. Faithful Thomas wants to believe. But he can’t let himself do it. He demands the most unpleasant and offensive form of proof.
Think for a moment about what Thomas says he needs to do to believe. Feel the nail-marks in Jesus’ hands. Push his hand into the spear-wound in Jesus’ side. He tells a group of men who have just had a profound encounter with the risen Christ that he wants to push his hand into the open wound on Jesus’ side. This is deeply unpleasant and seems calculatedly offensive. These are not the words of a detached sceptic, but of a faithful man wrestling with doubts and angry with those who won’t take them seriously. Thomas has not lost his faith. If he had, he wouldn’t have doubt at all, he’d have unbelief. This is a story not about a man who doubts, but about a man who has faith.
This is obvious in what happens next: Thomas stays with the other disciples. Jesus appears to the others on Easter Sunday. When they tell Thomas, it seems like they have a really unpleasant falling out, leading to Thomas saying a lot of things he’s going to regret later. The story takes up again a week later. A week. The rest of the disciples had less than a day of uncertainty about the resurrecton before Jesus appeared to them. Thomas has a week, at the beginning of which he is really unpleasant to the rest of the disciples. But they stick with him, and more to the point, he sticks with them. Thomas has doubts. He doesn’t know if he can really believe that Jesus has risen, that his friends are telling the truth and not being delusional. But he has faith. It takes a lot of faith to stay in a community when you have doubts that those around you do not share. Much easier to slip away quietly than stay a week in the company of believers, waiting for a risen Jesus you doubt is coming. And Thomas doesn’t know that Jesus will appear after a week if he stays with the others. In fact, he doubts that he will. He stays anyway. This is not a story about Doubting Thomas. It’s a story about Faithful Thomas.
The Faith of Thomas has always been the most important thing about him. When Jesus does appear to Thomas, all his doubts fall away. He doesn’t need to touch Jesus’ wounds in order to believe, just meeting with Jesus is enough. It’s Thomas’s faith that John really wants us to see in sharing this story. It forms the climax of his whole gospel. Faithful Thomas is the first one who says to Jesus ‘My Lord and my God’, who recognizes Jesus not only as Messiah, but as God himself. John wants us to see Thomas not as a sub-standard disciple, not as Doubting Thomas, but as the one who is an example to all believers, as Faithful Thomas, the first to declare the Christian faith.
What does it mean if we see Thomas not as someone to look down on, but as someone who is an example to us, someone we should try to be like?
I think that first of all, it encourages us when we find we have doubts. If you doubt, you shouldn’t think that you’re the only person who has doubts, or that having doubts makes you less faithful. And, like Thomas, you shouldn’t be frightened of being honest with God and others about your doubts.
This leads me to the second thing we should learn from this story: we should be communities where people can be honest about their doubts. This is perhaps the part that we need to think about most – because churches are not always places where it’s easy to be honest about doubts. We need to be a community that makes space for people to be honest about doubt, as well as faith, a community that isn’t afraid or ashamed of its doubts and its doubters. Thomas was able to stay with the other disciples despite his doubts. It can’t have been easy for either side, but he did it. We need to be able to make space for people who might not be at the same place in their faith as we are, and to treat them as faithful.
Maybe you’ve never gone through a time of real doubt. Maybe it’s something you wrestle with a lot. At some point, it happens to all of us. We find ourselves in the same position as Thomas – doubting yet having faith. It’s not something you choose to happen, or that you can choose to stop happening. It wasn’t something Thomas chose. He just wasn’t there when Jesus appeared to the others. But why did Jesus appear at a time when he wasn’t there? And why did He wait a week before appearing to them again? These are questions it’s hard to give definite answers to, but we can say this: Thomas’s doubt led to a deeper faith than he had had before. It led him to wait to meet with Jesus even when he doubted Jesus could meet him. Being accepted by the other disciples despite his doubts was great, but he needed more than that. He needed to find a faith deep enough to overcome those doubts, and the community of the disciples couldn’t give him that. He needed to meet with Jesus. When we go through times of doubt this is what we need. We need to meet with Jesus (in sacrament, in his word, in prayer).
The point of the story of Thomas is ultimately not that he doubted, or that despite his doubt he still had faith, it’s that in the midst of his faithful doubt and doubtful faith he had an encounter with the Risen Christ which conquered all his doubts and confirmed his faith. That is what led him to make that great confession of faith: ‘My Lord and my God’. May we all have such meetings with Jesus this Easter.

Judas 2013

I wonder how you imagine the Last Supper?
One of the most famous images of it is Da Vinci’s painting of them all sitting at a long table with Jesus sat in the middle. If you’ve seen it, I wonder if you remember where it puts Judas? He sits to one side, looking uncomfortable, his face turned away, one hand clutching a money bag. It doesn’t look like he and Jesus are close. It’s how we often think of him: an angry outsider, too interested in money.
I don’t think that’s how Jesus thought of him, though.
Jesus called Judas to be one of the twelve, his closest friends, and he’s the only one he gave a role of responsibility – he made him treasurer. He’s an apostle, with the others he preached the gospel and did miracles. This was a man Jesus loved and trusted, taught and trained. We often forget all this or think it doesn’t really count because of what Judas did during the last days of his life. But when Jesus calls someone, trusts them and invests his time in training them should we really dismiss all of that as a mistake?
Our reading shows us the decisive moment in the relationship between Jesus and Judas. We’re probably all guilty of listening to it, hearing ‘Satan entered him’ and ignoring everything else. But I want to invite you to imagine that meal through Jesus’s eyes. We don’t know how long Jesus had known that Judas would betray him but certainly he knew all the way through this last supper. I mentioned Da Vinci’s painting and maybe that’s what you’ve got in your mind as your imagine it. If it is, you need to forget it. Judas is not an outsider here. John tells us that Jesus is able to have quiet conversations with John and then with Judas without the rest of them hearing clearly. He’s able to pass Judas some bread. I think the best way to understand this is to imagine that Jesus has John on one side of him and Judas on the other. This means he’s chosen to seat Judas next to him in the place of honour. When he dips bread in a dish and passes it to Judas this was also a way of showing that someone was specially honoured. Think about that for a moment. Jesus knows that Judas will betray him and he chooses to give him more honour than everyone else at that table. I think he’s trying to tell Judas that he loves him, respects him and trusts him. I think he’s trying to give him one last chance to change his mind. And now think about this: Jesus knows Judas will betray him once he steps out of that room, we know he has no shortage of hot headed disciples all he would have to do is say clearly what Judas was doing and Peter would certainly have stopped him. He doesn’t. So why not stop Judas from making the biggest mistake of his life? I think the only answer is that despite knowing Judas was wrong, Jesus loved and respected him enough to allow him to make his own mistakes.
We can all think of things that we’ve said, done and choices that we’ve made that we now, on reflection, see were mistakes. Just as with Judas, it’s also easy looking back to magnify the mistakes and not see the whole picture. Today we can remember the perspective of us that Jesus has. Just as he does with Judas, Jesus sees all of us and he chooses to respect us, trust us and to love us.
As we travel on into Holy Week, remember this moment at the table. Jesus passing Judas the bread. Judas walking out the door, into the night. Jesus watching him go, knowing what he would do. But don’t remember this as a moment of betrayal, remember it as a moment of love – the love of Jesus offered unceasingly to the very people who were hurting him. In this moment, we see the true meaning of the cross.

Lord Jesus, as we draw near to the honoured place you have made for us at your table and we share bread and wine and even as we leave this place, remind us of your unceasing love for us. In your precious name, Amen.